Spoonie Survival Guide: Thanksgiving Edition
Holidays can be stressful for anyone. If you celebrate them, there’s more to do and a fuller social calendar. If you don’t celebrate them, there can be feelings of loneliness, annoyance, and isolation (or relief!) Here’s the first part of the Spoonie Survival Guide for holidays.
It’s OK to Say No—Or Nothing at All!
Like cats, people are curious. And then they ask questions. Lots of questions. Questions about whether we’re dating anyone, when we’re going to give them grandchildren, when we’ll get a better job. For spoonies, the questions get even more annoying, especially when we get asked if we’re better yet or if we’ve tried kale/yoga/oil pulling/positive thinking.
The good news about questions is that we have a choice. The asker puts a question out there, and then we get to decide. Decide if we want to answer. Decide how much we want to say. It’s easy to forget that sometimes.
Here are some options for responding to questions:
Say nothing
It’s actually okay to not give an answer to a question. You can say something like, “I’d rather not talk about that.” Or stare at them until they blink and look away (okay, they might think you’re a little weird if you do that).
Deflect
Someone throws a question at you, throw one right back at them! They ask when you’re going to get your act together, you ask them what they think of the mashed potatoes this year.
Squirrel it
Just like in heist movies or magic shows, a little distraction can go a long way. If someone is asking you obnoxious questions, find something to point out that can attract their attention: “Hey, look! Is that person towing your car?”
You Do You
We can feel pressured to be polite or do what we’ve always done, even when it’s not good for our bodies or mental health. Remember this: when we tell someone no, they may have a moment of disappointment or annoyance. But if we do something that isn’t good for us just to save them from that momentary emotion, we could end up feeling sick or even in a flare for hours, days, or weeks. It’s not an even exchange. So pass on that homemade treat that will irritate your IBS, skip out early on the party to get the sleep you need, wear flats instead of heels in the family picture even if others want you not to, pick club soda over vodka if alcohol doesn’t sit well with you, take the elevator when everyone else is hiking up the stairs. You do you.
Watch for more survival tips in the weeks to come. My aim is to encourage you to be kind to yourself even when no one else around you is, so I want you to be as well-equipped to do that as possible. In this season of giving, I’ve even put together a gift for you: a free downloadable tip sheet giving you even more options for answering nosy questions both at work and in your social life. You can grab yours here. Until next time, be sweet to your spoonie self!
