It’s the last day of January (was this month waaaay longer than usual for anyone else or is it just me?), and this is the last installment of this self-compassion series. You can catch up on the other posts here.
However, if you know me at all by now, you also know that it won’t be the last time I talk about befriending ourselves. Why? Because doing this is so key to all the other things we want to do, from taking care of our bodies to taking on that new project to taking care of others.
Let’s talk about projects for a minute. There are so many ways to create in this world. We usually think of things like painting or writing music when we think about creativity. But we forget that we can use creativity everywhere in our lives. Here are just some ways:
· Coming up with a nickname for your cat
· Tweaking a recipe by adding or adjusting spices
· Putting together an outfit to wear
· Choosing what color towels to put in your bathroom
· Using an object in a different way that it was originally marketed—even that old pencil to wind up a cassette tape trick was a creative act!
· Inventions
· Business ideas
· Adding a few words to a birthday card before sending it
· Whatever you’re humming to yourself while you’re waiting for an appointment
· Daydreams
· Your happy dance
· Conducting research
· Fixing things
· Sewing/quilting/knitting/crochet/embroidery
· Coding and programming
· Any kind of craft, including ones from kits
· Figuring out a way to keep track of your medications
· Tweets and memes and social media posts
Basically, any time you create something, whether it’s an idea or a tangible object, it’s a creative act.
Now that we’ve established what creative acts are, let’s look at how self-compassion comes into it. To create something is a vulnerable act. It’s taking a chance. It might even show the world a piece of ourselves. In order to have that courage and that vulnerability, we need a safe space. We need a container for it where we will be met and seen through soft eyes.
And guess what? We don’t have to count on anyone else to make that space for us. We can do it for ourselves.
That’s where self-compassion comes in.
That’s where meeting our struggles and messy attempts and long learning process with gentleness and understanding come in.
If we can approach ourselves with loving amusement towards our imperfect humanness, we are better able to explore and play with the world around us. If something doesn’t go the way we planned, no biggie—we know that’s all part of the deal and we can decide to try again or go see what’s on another part of the playground.
I do want to be very clear that self-compassion does not mean that we let ourselves shun our creative impulses. That’s not kind at all. I think this Brené Brown quote really sums it up nicely:
“Unused creativity is not benign….it metastasizes into resentment, grief, heartbreak…sit on that creativity, and it festers.”
I don’t want you to fester. The world needs your voice, especially the voices that aren’t heard as often. It needs your spoonie voice, your non-binary voice, your poly voice, your geek voice, your trans voice, your sex worker voice, your queer voice, your artist voice, your entrepreneur voice, your pagan voice, your yogi voice, your YOU voice.
But more than what the world wants or needs, I suspect that YOU need your voice. To see the power you have to create and have an effect on things, to make something appear, however small, especially if you are feeling disempowered and invisible.
Start small, start soon, and do it with great self-love.
I’ll keep sharing what I know about how to do just that.
Until next time, be sweet to your wonderful weird self!
(One of my own great loves is offering coaching and consulting to help weird people do cool stuff. Click here to learn more.)
