Over the past weeks, I’ve shared a lot about things to do to get through this holiday season. Now, as we meet the winter solstice with its annual invitation to rest and reflect, I want to talk about three things not to do.
Don’t Rush
If you go out, you’ve probably noticed that the pace is picking up, especially around shopping centers. Hustle AND Bustle are in full force. We can easily get swept up in it all.
It’s not fair to yourself to try to match the speed that’s not yours. Especially if it’s the speed of a non-spoonie! If you need a few extra seconds to open a door, stand still after getting up from your seat, or carefully park your car, take them. Sure, it’s super-frustrating for us to not be able to do things as fast as we’d like, but it’s also not worth it to rush because someone else wants us to and then we end up getting hurt or totally drained.
When I was training to teach restorative yoga, my teacher Judith Hanson Lasater gave us a homework assignment to not rush. She told us we could move quickly if we needed to, but never to rush. It took me a while to figure out what the heck she meant. Here’s how I see it: Moving quickly is a speed. Rushing is a state of mind. We can be rushing even if we are moving slowly—it’s that sense of urgency and frantic worry that makes it rushing. Play around with not rushing and see what happens for you.
Don’t Overfill
Did you think I was talking about your plate? Or your glass? Nah, I’m talking here about your time. There’s an endlessly spooling to-do list that we could buy into right about now. But you know what? Everyone’s going to survive without that extra side dish, that ironed tablecloth, that fifth present, that dusted baseboard, that one-more-string of lights or that third holiday party this week. (Of course, if the to-dos have to do with work or paying bills, childcare, etc., then keep those suckers on that list and highlight them!)
When you’re looking at your day or your week, see where you can leave just 5 or 10 minutes extra space between things. That buffer can really make the difference if something comes up that you have to deal with, or your body is rebelling that day and you need those 10 minutes to get your socks on or run to the bathroom again.
You might even take a few more to-dos off that list where you can. It’ll be okay.
Don’t Avoid the Darkness
The winter solstice is the longest night of the year. The most hours of darkness, before the tide turns and the light starts to return more and more day by day. Let the darkness be a reminder of your need for rest. For quiet moments. For recognizing your achy parts and showering them with gentleness. For leaving room for the sadness and grief that many of us hide so often. And for remembering that inevitable, the sun returns time and time again.
The darkness makes the light that much more clear. Whether it’s a call light, a TV screen, a candle, a Christmas tree strung with twinkling bulbs, or a flame under a kettle, may it be a reminder to leave room for yourself, for rest, and for all of your feelings today and always. May your own light within grow and glow tonight and always.
We’ll have one more installment of the holiday survival guide next week.
Until next time, stay sweet to your spoonie self.
