This year's been rough—really rough—for a lot of us. And now we’re heading into a time that's challenging for a lot of people in a good year, and even more so when we are facing all the weirdness and losses of dumpster fire 2020. So how to cope? Look, I’ll be real with you. There's nothing that's going to make things awesome. There's nothing that's going to make things the same as they used to be. What there can be is something to help us muddle through and get us into next year, which hopefully will be a little brighter.
So you’ve decided to (or been forced to) do the kind and socially responsible thing and stay at home while COVID-19 rolls up into your area. Thank you for helping slow the spread and flatten that curve so our hospitals and other resources can try to keep up with the demands on them!
But now what? After that glow of doing your part to save humanity wears off, what on earth do you do with these days and/or week ahead? How do you emotionally and mentally get through it?
I’m going to share with you everything I’ve learned from my experiences as 1) someone who works at home; 2) a hard-core introvert; 3) someone living with multiple chronic illnesses; and 4) a licensed clinical psychologist.
We grow up in all kinds of environments. You might have heard people talk about not knowing what a healthy marriage looks like since their parents didn’t have one. That goes for our dreams as well! If we don’t have a model for what’s possible, our dreams might be tiny. (Not that there’s anything wrong with tiny dreams! They can be really achievable and satisfying.)
Here are three types of models we might have for careers and dreams.
Dragons hoard, right? There are so many images of them curled up on a pile of gold and gems….which can’t be all that comfortable! So many lumps and hard surfaces and pointy things.
In my own life, as well as with my clients, I find it helps to personify things. In this case, let’s call perfectionism the Perfection Dragon. It hoards, it’s dramatic, and it symbolizes something mythical.
It’s harder than it sounds sometimes to just do stuff…we can have hobbies and business ideas that we adore, that light us up and make us bounce a little in our seat.
And then we don’t do them.
We think about it. We talk about it. We might even make a list of steps or materials that we need.
And we stay on the couch or in the bed or work late at our day job. Because, you know…one day.
Why do we do this to ourselves? Why do we deprive ourselves of what we want and need most? Minds are so tricky! Here are three lies they like to tell us that keep us from doing what we love—and the antidotes.
I would get so worked up about flaring up that I would go into full-blown panic attacks, my muscles aching from tension and fear and my gut churning in sympathy. It. Was. Miserable.
Through my training as a therapist and a yoga teacher, I got to learn some other ways of dealing with the panic of an impending flare or a new symptom or pain. Here are three of my favorites.
You’ve seen it on Instagram: “talk to yourself like you’d talk to your best friend.” So hard to do! And even harder if some of that internal trash talk comes from comments people have made to you about being chronically ill or from things you’ve heard or seen in society about illness and disability. Here are three simple (although not necessarily easy) strategies that won’t take too many spoons to do.
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Welcome! And congrats on doing something nice for yourself today!
